During all of that excitement and dreaming, imagine our shock when the offer was less than we were expecting. Much less. We'd made the decision that I'd continue to stay home with the kids wherever God took us next and, in my mind, there was no way we'd be able to live in South Florida off of the salary offered. As soon as I got off the phone with Clint when he told me what happened, I burst into hot, angry tears. I was furious at God. How could he open this door, get us excited and confident about our journey, and then slam it in our face?
In the midst of the anger and disappointment, I felt God speak to my spirit, "I didn't close the door. You're the one trying to do that."
We prayed and we prayed that God would change the offer. We countered and talked and budgeted and worried. I tried to get a budget together that we could do more than survive and I just wasn't seeing it. It just didn't seem to be enough.
In the end, God didn't change the offer. He did something even better. He changed our hearts.
We decided to trust His promises in scripture and take a step of faith, into the seemingly impossible, and definite unknown, even when it didn't make sense. Matthew 6 came to life for us. We decided to seek His kingdom and righteousness and trust that these things-- our basic needs-- would be given to us as well. We couldn't worry about tomorrow and what it would bring. Just take it one day at a time.
And real talk, y'all... it's been hard. REALLY hard. There've been times we have had less than $20 in our account, the gas light is on in the car, we have hardly any food in the house, and still have days until we get paid again. It can be frustrating, embarrassing, and not always a lot of fun.
But the good greatly outweighs the bad. God is faithful to His promises. In some miraculous way, God has met every. single. one. of our needs. Be it a "random" check in the mail, friends throwing together a last minute dinner party with leftovers out the wazoo they send home with everyone, gifts cards we forgot we had, or an offer of a ride somewhere, we've never been without anything we need.
God has blessed us beyond measure. He's truly blessing our stewardship efforts and obedience. With the help of far more financially savvy friends and God's crazy way of working, we were able to pay off over $8,000 worth of debt in under 6 weeks. In a time when we're bringing home considerably less than we ever have, God provided a way for us to become debt free! It allowed us the breathing room we desperately needed. That only makes sense through God's power.
Beyond the trust and faith I've learned to put in God, He's used this season to teach us that life isn't all about money or the stuff it can buy. Life is simpler now. We have lots of dates after kids go to bed, lots of dinner and games at friends houses, and lots of evenings spent at the beach. Life may be simpler, but we are filled with more joy and peace than they ever have been. Knowing we're where God wants us and it is a place we LOVE is worth every penny pinched. Clint and I each say at least once a week that we can't believe we live here and get to be a part of CF and all God is doing there. We're choosing to find our contentment in HIM, not a number in our bank account.
I say none of this to brag on us or anything we've done "right". Literally all we've done is take step after step in a crazy path the Lord has led us on. He's done everything else. Faith can't be conditional. If God is calling you to do something, do it. Even if it doesn't make sense. Even if it's scary or unknown. Even if you don't think you can. Do it. And prepare to be utterly amazed at how the Lord will bless you in ways you never imagined.
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