scripture for a new mama's heart

I have sat here and sat here, trying to think of encouragement for the new mama heart, but I realized none of my words could come close to the words of scripture that I clung to in those early days and continue to hold on to as I press on in motherhood. They're beautiful and sacred days, but you can never be really prepared for the challenge you face. My prayer is you read these and the Lord speaks to and calms your heart. You may feel more alone than you ever have before, but take heart. God is WITH you. He SEES you. He is fighting FOR you. Lean in and rest in His promises. He loves you and trusts you to care for the sweet, sweet child he blessed you with. You ARE enough. He WILL equip you for this job. It's a season that will be gone in the blink of an eye. Soak it up and relish in the beauty of His creation. I love you and I'm here for you. Never hesitate to reach out if you need a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. I've been there.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. [Psalm 72:26]

Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. [Psalm 127:3-5]

For you created (baby's name) inmost being; you knit them together in my womb. I praise you because they are fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Their frame was not hidden from you when they were made in the secret place, when they were woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw their unformed body; all the days ordained for them were written in your book before one of them came to be. [Psalm 139:13-16]

I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him. So now I give them to the Lord. For their whole life they will be given over to the Lord.     [1 Samuel 1:27-28]

With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may bring to fruition your every desire for goodness and your every deed prompted by faith. We pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ. [2 Thessalonians 1:11-12]

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens... He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know there is nothing better for people than do be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. [Ecclesiastes 3:1;11-13]

For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, "Do not fear. I will help you." [Isaiah 41:14]

when a messy house becomes a heart issue

I've mentioned it before, but I've never fancied myself a good homemaker. I wouldn't do laundry for over a week, I'd leave dirty pans in the sink "soaking" for days, the sink would fill up with dirty dishes while clean dishes were ready to be put away in the dishwasher, and more and more toys would make their way from the play room into the living room, never to be put away again. I was constantly stressed and always had a lingering to-do list in the back of my mind that I was putting off.

I had a LOT of excuses.

I was making memories with the kids.
I was busy.
I'm just not naturally a tidy person.
I never learned to clean from my mom. (Love ya, momma ;-) )
I'd learn how to clean... one day.

Then, a few weeks ago, I had the privilege of hearing Christine Caine speak two times in three days and God opened my eyes to something.

I was NOT being a good steward of the life He's blessed me with.

I was living in chaos and stress by choice. And by making that choice, I was making it for my family. I was stressed, short tempered, and overwhelmed and no where near the wife/mom I so badly desired to be. God gives us 24 hours every single day and I was choosing to waste them away because "I'd learn to clean one day when the kids are older/we have a bigger house/nicer house" and "I'm just not a good homemaker by nature."

Christine said a couple of things that were game changers for me.

We talk about what we don't have and where we're not instead of what we do have and where we are now. Unless you value this moment now, you'll never value that moment then.

Saying 'but God' is putting our inadequacies above God's ability to use us.

God has put me in this (not-so-nice) apartment with a toddler and baby right now. Why do I think that I will magically become a good homemaker when the kids are older and we live somewhere nicer? When I tell God I'm just not good at it, I'm saying that He's not big enough to give me the discipline I need to learn.

This last week has been a total 180. I did major cleaning Monday. The main living part of our house was spotless. So much so, that a friend who comes for dinner every Monday walked in and said, "Oh my gosh, Steph. You've got a kitchen!"

Tuesday I totally reorganized and cleaned the play room and Wednesday I tackled Reuben's room and bathroom. The kicker to all of this... it's all still clean. 

I'm doing simple things like actually putting away laundry every load. What a novel idea. Oh. And I'm putting things away when I'm done with them. Right when I'm done with them. Genius. I load the dishwasher throughout the day, run it at night, and Clint unloads it in the morning before work. It's all so attainable and... dare I say it... easy. *GASP*.

This is in no way a "Go ahead and give me a pat on the back" sort of post. It's more of a "you can do it" post to all the other struggling mamas out there. There is grace in busy seasons of life, don't get me wrong. But wasting your time and being a bad steward of it is just not ok to settle for and dwell in. Pray, pray, pray. You can't change anything in your own power, but through God changing your heart and spirit, you can!

3 tips to enjoy the beach with littles

We've been in Florida for almost three months. In those three months, we've been to the beach WAY more than I figured we would've. We aren't huuuuge beach people (we burn way too easily), but I feel like we're finally getting the hang of it. I'm definitely no professional, but I'm learning more each time, so I figured I'd share some tips here!



1. Don't go in the middle of the day.

That may sound like a "duh" kind of thing, but it seriously makes the biggest difference in heat, crowds, and overall moods for everyone involved. I made the mistake of taking the kids right before nap time (like 11ish) and it was awful. People everywhere, crazy hot, and everyone was hungry and tired. Since then, we only go in the morning or around dinner time. If we plan on going in the morning, we're out of the house by 8:00 and normally back in the car no later than 10:30. It's cooler with way fewer people. We've discovered lately that our favorite thing to do is to take dinner and eat on the beach and then play in the ocean for a little while afterwards. It's even less crowded and cooler than the morning and who doesn't like picnicking on the beach?

If you don't live at the beach and are just visiting, I'd recommend going back to the rental house/hotel for lunch/nap and then doing something indoors or the pool during the middle of the day heat. Basically something that's way less work intensive ;-)

2. Only take the necessities. 

I MAJORLY overpacked the first couple of times we went to the beach. Now, I take a towel for each of us, a bluetooth speaker to play music, a sippy cup of ice water, a tent for Ellie to hang out in, and Reuben's floaties. Changes of clothes, snacks, toys, sunscreen, etc all get left in the car and used before/after the trip. It makes it 100x easier to get there when you're carrying way less. I can fit everything (plus a huge king size blanket to sit on) in one Thirty-One Deluxe Utility Tote. If we're taking dinner, I make sure everything fits in a thermal tote. Clint carries that, I wear Ellie, and hold Reuben's hand on the walk. Piece of cake.

3. BABY. POWDER.

We hate sand. Like, hate it. All the rinsing in the world doesn't seem to rid us of it, and with a toddler who just wallows in it, there are parts you can't rinse off in public if you know what I mean. I can't remember where I heard it first, but someone told me that baby powder helps get sand off of you. Guys, it's life changing. A generous sprinkle of it on anything sandy and the sand just falls off. It's magical. We never go to the beach without it!

What's your best tip for making the beach with littles easier?

when will I become a super mom?

My mom came down for a visit last week (hence the blogging break) and we had a fantastic time!

We saw sea turtles, ate dinner on the beach, and did lots and lots of shopping. Between all of that, we had some down time at the house during naps and after bedtimes. During that time, I was blown away with how much my mom could get done in such a short time. Stuff that would take me over an hour, she had done in less than half the time.

She can do dishes, laundry, and pick up simultaneously. My dishes came out of the dishwasher cleaner than I've ever seen them and she cleaned clothes I didn't even realize I had. She even cleaned out my CAR. None of that was asked for and it was all on top of hanging out with us, doing naps and bedtime with Reuben, and cuddling with Ellie. Oh. And with a bum hip. She's getting it replaced in less than a month!

I don't know about you, but I struggle with daily household stuff every.single.day. Will I get these mom superpowers one day, too?!

I sure hope I do. It'd make me that much more like the best mom in the world. :)

headbands for hope

Coming down to Florida, where I didn't know anybody, gave me a LOT of extra time to sit and dream. I've been reading Restless and Mama Needs a Do-Over since moving and both have been challenging me and reminding me that while I'm a mom, I'm me. Becoming a mom doesn't mean I can't have my own dreams, aspirations, and passions. So often, I'm stuck in the rut of dirty diapers, smudgey faces, bath time and bedtime routines, and quieting crying children that I forget about myself. A lot of days, it's all I can do to make it to bedtime. And I mean MY bedtime, not theirs. While God has met me in my exhaustion and been good to me, I still felt like there was something missing.

This blog was a step in the right direction. I've always loved writing and communicating. I have a degree in public speaking, for crying out loud! To have a place to write and put all my thoughts in one place has been good for my heart. 

I still felt like I have gifts and passions that just weren't being used. 

One day a few weeks ago, I woke up with a legitimate need to make something. Anything. I was feeling dried up and needed to give my creativity a lap around the track. I ended up whipping Ellie up a headband. 

It was simple, sweet, and I really enjoyed making it. She got a ton of compliments on it and people said they'd love to have one for their kid. It got my wheels turning. I could do that! I could make headbands for other people's kids! But I felt like there needed to be more to it. 

The last few years have taught me that moms need each other. Especially in the beginning. Being a mom is hard. The first several weeks of Reuben's life were harder than I could've ever imagined. It was lonely, depressing, isolating, and painful. I had more support than I could've ever asked for, but I still struggled. I want to use those bad experiences to give other mamas hope.

Enter in Place of Hope. It's a ministry that was born out of Christ Fellowship and now supports children in South Florida from the womb, all the way to out of high school.

Being a young, single mom has to be harder and scarier than I could ever imagine. Place of Hope has a ministry they call Joann's Cottage. They take in mamas and mamas-to-be who have nowhere to go but are choosing life, and give them a roof over their head, food, the opportunity of an education, parenting classes, and so much more, all in a Christ-centered environment. We're talking girls still in high school, girls kicked out of their homes, victims of rape, girls. with. no one. If anyone had the "right" to choose to not have a baby, it's these girls. But they're choosing life. And they NEED support. That's just what Joann's Cottage is giving them! They're meeting their needs on every level-physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.

I reached out to them, and I'm so happy to say I get to partner with them to help these mamas!

A portion of every single headband and bib I make and sell will go straight to meeting the needs of Joann's Cottage. It may look different every month, but I'm so excited to share with you how you are able to help bless them, simply by buying an accessory!

All of the info will be on my SHOP page and will constantly be updated with new fabric options and anything I feel led to add to the shop.

Please share this with your friends and consider buying some for birthdays, Christmas, showers, or even yourself---they come in adult size (the headbands, not the bibs ;-) )!

Come alongside me and let's support these new moms! 

homemaker and mama don't always mesh

I always thought that the day I got to be a stay at home mom, my house would become immaculate and we'd always have a fridge full of options and hot, tasty food on the table (where we'd all sit together every night of the week and have rousing conversation while we oohed and ahhed over the deliciousness of the food).

Spoiler alert: That's not the case.

I've been a stay at home mom a little over a year, and I'm still just a few steps ahead of where I was when I worked full time.

If were having people over, we still have to scurry to get it cleaned up in time for them to come in.

The sink is full of dirty dishes more than it's not.

Laundry stays folded piled in the hamper until we wear it again and move it to the dirty clothes hamper (or floor). 

The toy room stays chaotic except for the once a week cleaning Reuben and I do. 

We eat lunch on the floor 6/7 days a week. Sometimes dinner if it's just me and the kids.

If we're not going anywhere, the kids aren't wearing pants.

But guess what?

I stopped doing the laundry this week because Reuben asked me to read a book with him.

Dishes had to be put down because Ellie got tired and needed some Mama cuddles.

We eat on the floor because Reuben loves it and looks forward to our picnics. 

The playroom stays messy because we're always in there playing and using our imaginations.

Our kids are happy, healthy, and loved beyond measure. We sing, dance, learn, and explore. The laundry, dishes, and table meals will always be here. These sweet, sweet moments with my itty bitty babies will be gone before I know it. I mean, I'm already halfway through my uninterrupted time at home with Reuben! In just 2.5 years, he'll be gone from me more than he's with me. Woah. 

Are you there with me? Honestly, I don't think our kids will remember the laundry, toys, and dishes. They're going to remember the laughs laughed, books read, songs sung, and all the dances we make up. I am far from a great homemaker, but I'm praying, by God's grace, that my kids can look back on their lives and think I'm a great mama. 

four things I wish someone had told me before I had children

Remember back in the day when you found a disposable camera you'd forgotten about? The anticipation to know what memories you'd captured on it? Well, while we were packing up to move down here, I'd found some camera cards I didn't know we had and the same giddy excitement came over me. I finally got around to looking at them this weekend and found some gems.

Pictures of our last Disney Cruise.

Pictures from our friend's rehearsal dinner.

Pictures of our BFF's kid (turning 4) eating solids for the first time.

And the very best find...

That's my very first "bump" picture during my pregnancy with Reuben. I was maaaaaybe 5 weeks pregnant and "feeling it". HA.

I was full of fear (we'd previously lost a baby, but that's another post for another day) and, clearly, anticipation and excitement. I just knew motherhood would be the most wonderful experience. After all, we'd been trying and dreaming about it for the last 6 months. I was over the moon about meeting the little human who would be half me and half Clint. Little did I know, the tiny human in my belly would basically be a Clint clone. ;-)

Nine months later, my world was completely rocked. It was NOTHING like I thought it would be. I was honestly a little angry no one had told me what to expect because What to Expect When You're Expecting was not cutting it. Since Reuben's birth, I've tried to be real with first time moms like I wish people had been with me. These are some things I always share...

1. Birth and the days following may not go the way you planned. That's ok.

I'd planned to go into labor on my own, preferably as close to my due date as possible to give baby plenty of time to cook. Baby would be placed on my belly for skin to skin and eagerly latch right on to nurse for the first time. No pacifier or supplementation in the hospital. Head home the next day.

Literally nothing went as planned. I ended up having a cessation a little after 37 weeks because I was very sick without knowing it. Because of the sickness, I was drugged up in the hospital for the next 5 days, waiting for my platelet count to go up and my blood pressure to go down. My milk wasn't coming in, Reuben was a lazy nurser, and he lost 10% of his birth weight. The pediatrician said we needed to supplement to get him on the right track. It was all so incredibly discouraging. I was afraid and unsure of everything. 

But you know what? God redeemed all of it. My best friend helped us get on track with breastfeeding and he went on to nurse for 18 months. If I hadn't gotten sick and Reuben had come on his own around his due date, there's a really good chance we'd never have ended up in Florida. The birth experience does not define you as a mother. God is bigger than all of that and has it all in His hands.

2. You may not like your baby right away. That's ok.

I always envisioned my baby coming out and feeling instant heart eyes. After all, they would've grown inside me the last 9 months. Of course I'd connect with them. What I didn't realize is that your baby will be a brand new person who you wouldn't really know and who doesnt't really know you. We'd have to learn how each other worked. The love was always there. The like? Not so much.

Post partum hormones are no joke, y'all. They left me feeling isolated and so, so lonely. The irrational part of me blamed Reuben because I didn't feel that way before him. When he was two weeks old, refusing to nurse, and screaming uncontrollably around midnight, I put him down on the bed with Clint, screamed, "I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE," and left the room to go cry by myself. Talk about a low point. 

I spent a lot of time praying to God for patience, peace, and love for Reuben. I'll never forget looking at him when he was five weeks old, sitting in his swing, and thinking, "I can do this mom thing. I like you buddy." 

3. You'll do things you said you'd never do. That's ok.

The "perfect" parents have never actually parented anybody. I was one of them when I was pregnant. I knew exactly how I'd do everything: where he'd sleep (rock n play for a few weeks until he moved to his crib), what he'd eat (I'd make all his food from organic fruits and veggies), and how he'd act in public (perfectly behaved and NEVER on our phone). The joke was definitely on me.

He ended up sleeping with us because I realized how much more sleep I got. He ate jarred foods at first and then finally just whatever we were eating because I was over making his own food after I did it one time. He also got our phones out in public if he started freaking out when we were trying to have a conversation with other adults. 

You know what I realized? You do what works for your family. Find your groove and roll with it. As long as it's not dangerous to you or your baby, you're all happy and healthy, and it works, go on with ya bad self.

4. It. Is. Worth. It.

Motherhood is by far the hardest thing I've ever done, but I wouldn't trade a single second of it for anything in the whole world. The sleepless nights, the tears, the hormones, the stank (seriously, showering is a luxury), the poop, the feelings, they're all worth it. One day, your baby will smile at you and it'll melt your heart. Then one day, they'll crawl/walk over to you and give you a kiss all on their own accord and leave you crying puddles on the floor. Later on, they'll look at you and say, "I love you, mama," completely unprompted. Gosh. Be still my heart.

Watching them grow from screaming lumps of chub into little people with distinct personalities, likes/dislikes, and quirks is indescribable. It's worth it a million times over.

What are some things you wish people had told you before you became a mother?

five on friday//mom encouragement

This was a great week. A really great week. Not because of anything in particular, just because my attitude has changed (totally by God's grace, not my own doing!) and it makes the days a little brighter!

Here are some random bright spots and a few things I'd encourage you to check out!

1//mama needs a do-over

After a complete mama breakdown one night last week, Clint encouraged me to start a devotional on the YouVersion Bible App based off the book Mama Needs a Do-Over. It was only a 7 day devotional, so not a huge commitment, but I finished it today and wish it had been longer. It was so real. And so encouraging. And just plain good. How many times a day do you, as a mom, wish you could re-do something with your kids? A moment you lost your temper or were stressed about getting somewhere on time? Lisa Pennington gives super simple and applicable tips to help you regain your composure, redirect your kiddos, and get everybody's sight back on Christ and the joy He loves to give us. Download the devotional today!

2//dog baby

If given the opportunity, Ellie will roll herself over to the vertical blinds (by the way, vertical blinds are awful. Can I get an amen?!) and stare out the window, like a dog. I'm talking for 15-20 minutes, which is a loooooong time in 4.5 month old time. It never ceases to crack me up!

3//scripture memory

I've been learning that having my brain full of scripture is crucial to keeping a positive attitude. I realized I'm not really good at looking at cards or stuff throughout the day, but I see my hand all. the. time. So the last few days, I've written a verse on my hand. On top of me always seeing it, Reuben is always seeing it. He's in a phase where he asks questions about ev-er-y-thing. I probably read the verse off my hand at least 20 times a day after he said "What that say, mama? That from Bible, mama?" By the end of the day, I've gotten the verse engrained in my mind! I'm planning on moving towards verses that I want Reuben to learn, too, so that we can start saying them together. Simple things like "Love one another," "Be brave, strong, and courageous," and other ones that will help his toddler heart.

Use your toddler's curiosity and try it for yourself!

4//playtime

I knew eventually Ellie and Reuben would play together. It's what siblings do. But I didn't expect for it to be so early and for it to bring SO much joy to all of us. I will say, with playtime comes spats. A few days ago, Ellie was playing with Reuben's talking puppy and he decided it was time for him to play with it so he took it and walked off. Ellie acted like he had ripped her arm off and started throwing the biggest fit ever. First off, excuse me? Four months old and doing that? Lord, help me later. Second, I couldn't help but laugh as we got it straightened out. The first time of MANY, I'm sure!

5//sleep

It's oh-so-simple yet something every mom longs for. I've been able to get both kids asleep at the same time every day this week and catch a cat nap myself. HALLELUJAH! Naps make everything better. Grab one if you can! Don't make them too long though. Then you'll wake up confused and angry... trust me. I would know. ;-)

Linking up with these ^^^ wonderful blogs today. From the link-up? Let me know! I'd love to check out what's going on in your life this Friday!

last week's food wins

I'd never claim to be a fantastic cook. I try, but my go to will always be pan fried chicken and pasta because that's what I ate 90% of my childhood. #pickyeater

Pinterest is my go-to for new recipes. Sometimes they're a hit, other times they're a BIG ol' miss. Last week was FULL of wins for me. Every dinner, Clint raved about how yummy it was. Reuben, not so much. His toddler taste buds will get there, I'm sure.

First one was Wednesday. Steak salad. Gosh, I wanted to eat that entire 16 oz of sirloin all by myself. It was THAT GOOD.

I've never cooked a steak in my life. I did some research (AKA googled) and saw there were a ton of different ways. I took a bunch of them and combined them to what sounded best to me. First, I set the steak out to get to room temp, dried it really well, and did a very generous sprinkling of freshly ground pepper and kosher salt. Then,  I got our nonstick pan suuuuuuuper hot, sprayed it with a little cooking spray, and stuck the steak in there. Three minutes on each side and a couple on the fatty side to get it to render off, and we were left with this. It was melt in your mouth good.

Reuben didn't love it. He said "Oh! I try steak!... Oh. I no like that." We'll try again, little guy. Clint said it was one of the best steaks he's ever had. BAM.

Cut up some zuchinni, shred some carrots, roast a little corn, and toss in some shredded cheese on top of your spring mix. Dinner. Is. Served.

The next night we did greek yogurt pancakes.

photo

I fried up some turkey bacon and scrambled some eggs to go with these. I doubled the recipe to make sure we had some leftover for the next few days of breakfast. They're delicious popped in the toaster! I added some chocolate chips to a few since we were out of syrup and we gobbled them up. And guys, they've got greek yogurt in them. Instantly healthy.

I'd say the creme de la creme were these turkey and zucchini burgers.

photo

I used sweet onion instead of red onion and used a little more zucchini than it called for, but it still tasted great and I was able to make 6 patties instead of 5. They seared beautifully and cooked really quickly. We put them on some pretzel buns I'd found at aldi. YUM. We ate the again the next night, they were THAT good.

Tell me, what have your dinner wins been lately?